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AddiKted2Bass_ver2
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Country: United States
State: California
Birthday: 3/8/1987
Gender: Male
Interests: Contemporary Culture (art and design), humanitarian efforts, travelling and cultural immersion, taking the road less travelled, typical car guy,
Message: message me
Member Since:
12/8/2002
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| So it's been a solid year... but is it time for another entry?
I don't think so..
This is more of a prayer, streams of conciousness with the molecule of
hope that somehow I'll have my answer through the complex workings of
the world.
I am actually not sure of what I need... I spent the last 30 minutes
before my mind finally ceased before sleep, debating if I'm bi-polar or
I just have insane mood swings. I thought about all the things I
have been doing to better myself but in relation to point A, I'm still
the same. The Honors club extraciricular is almost to the point
where it's completely over my head. I go to work with a
half-smile and leave with a full frontal frown..but I'll get to that
later. The money is slow and it feels like it takes forever...
but as Common says, "slow motion better than no motion." I feel
like everything I've taken in stride and took some pride in, somewhat
helps but I hate the vertigo of self-doubt.
Self-doubt... the slow killing ratio of flaws in self-confidence and
the resulting percieved reality. I can't help but feel so
alone. I honestly feel extremely lucky for the friends I have,
all the people that console in me and the consolation I find in them;
the ones who help me out and those I feel good helping out. But
there's more of my heart that desires something more...
It is said that luck is when opportunity meets preparation.
Agreed? Often times I blame the opportunity, the remainder of the time
I blame the preparation.
When can I stop beating myself up? When can I have the faith I
feel nostalgic about? When will my time come? Why can't I
have an answer when I need it the most? I've turned my back
on my despair thinking that it'll go away. When I look back it's
still there, it is not hostile because we are familiar with each
other. How does that other saying go? "Hope is the
breakfast of those who dined on despair"? I'm out of that, i'm
running on empty...
When can I meet that somebody that will be the answers, the culmination
of all my failures. The one that was meant for all the lessons
I've learned. The one that was meant for the person I've
become. In a better analogy, I've followed the rainbow and found
a pot of dirt... and still made a planter out of it. Now
what? Everyone says to wait and that patience pays off.
Things happen for a reason. I don't think there should be any
reason why I should feel like this, there should be no reason why I
long for someone I dont even know is out there. I dont think there
should be any reason why I should be crying as I type my feelings on a
keyboard...
I'm done with waiting... i'm ready for my opportunity, i'm ready for my answer...
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| - Beyond the Sea -
Somewhere beyond the sea
Somewhere waiting for me
My lover stands
On golden sands
And watches the ships
That go sailing
Somewhere beyond the sea
She's there watching for me
If I could fly like birds on high
Then straight to her arms
I'd go sailing
It's far beyond a star
It's near beyond the moon
I know beyond a doubt
My heart will lead me there soon
We'll meet beyond the shore
We'll kiss just as before
Happy we'll be
Beyond the sea
And never again
I'll go sailing
No more, no more...sailing...
Robbie Williams- Beyond the Sea (Finding Nemo ending credits song)
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| Here I go again
wondering where and when
I can find a lost snow fairy
among the gray and cold.
Through the holiday crowds
with warmth through dark clouds
As the celsius drops, I hope
she'll appear once again.
She's my winter tango twin
my chilled sanctuary within
candy cane whispers.
My guide through this concrete jungle.
She turns my frost into majesty;
chaos into tri-fold imaginative creativity.
She'll give me a reason
for this holiday season. | | |
| Unanswered
So many people wonder why-
the sudden suicide that takes a breath,
steals a beat, flips a world
"Maybe you'll love me when I fade to black" said HOV
I'm here to tell you what they couldn't
with their last breath of life
An utopia of feeling and association
free from those bonded by others
anxiety of nothing being the image they once concieved
No matter how hard we try, life's not a fairytale
we believe in those that don't exist
have feelings that can't exist
It's not trying to live a lie
rather, it's life that has lied to them
Wasn't born with nobility or investments
Began to understand, and find beauty
Only to own anothers' intellectual property
What works for you, doesn't work for everyone else
How can we have faith in a humanity that closes its doors
Perhaps they were right all along... | | |
| - SenoritaOn that sunny day
Didn't know I'd meet
Such a beautiful girl
Walking down the street
Seen those bright brown eyes
With tears coming down
She deserves a crown
But where is it now
Mamma listen
Senorita, I feel for you
You deal with things, that you don't have to
He doesn't love ya, I can tell by his charm
But you could feel this real love
If you just lay in my...
Running fast in my mind
Girl won't you slow it down
If we carry on this way
This thing might leave the ground
How would you like to fly?
Does summer queen you right?
But you still deserve a crown
Well hasn't it been found?
Mamma listen
Senorita, I feel for you
(Feel for you)
You deal with things, that you don't have to
(No, no)
He doesn't love ya, I can tell by his charm
(He don't love ya baby)
But you could feel this real love
(Feel it)
If you just lay in my...
Ah, ah, arms...
(Won't you lay in my)
Ah, ah, arms...
(Mama lay in my)
Ah, ah, arms...
(Baby won't you lay in my)
Ah, ah, arms...
When I look into your eyes
I see something that money can't buy
And I know if you give us a try
I'll work hard for you girl
And no longer will you ever have to cry
Senorita, I feel for you
You deal with things, that you don't have to
(Deal with things you don't have to)
He doesn't love ya, I can tell by his charm
(No, no)
But you could feel this real love
(Feel it)
If you just lay in my...
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